[Day 26] Fear of trusting others
Three years ago, my deepest fears, were the fear of asking for help, fear of depending on someone, and the fear of being a burden to someone. Looking back, it was a fear of trust. All of the above, required me to have faith, and trust in someone else to be responsible for something in my life. The thought of that terrified me, because I was insecure about my own abilities, and I was still constantly proving to myself how strong and capable I was on my own. I needed to prove to myself that I can handle anything life throws at me. I thought asking for help would define me weak. I thought I would be loved less if people saw me as troublesome.
Now I see clearer.
Asking for help when I need to, IS being strong. It shows that I know where my limits are, and I’m not afraid to admit my weakness to others.
Depending on others, taking their time, efforts and sharing their emotions, is exactly what the important people in my life deserve. They deserve to see the pieces of me that are tender and weak, and they deserve to see what’s behind these guarded walls of mine. Through trust, I am free from my old fears. Through having faith in people, I have restored my confidence, and it strengthens me to know that I am supported and loved.
Just so grateful, that people let me in and let me lean on them… Thank you my dear friends.