Tag Archive | birthday

no more hiding

Truth be told, I was quite scared to be in Sydney on this day. So I planned a holiday, to hide from all that’s messed up in my life this year. Mess, that I didn’t want to face, didn’t want to deal with. 

For me, birthdays have always been a time for reflection. Naturally I’m forced to really evaluate all that’s happened since my last birthday. Yes I’ve made questionable choices this year. I’ve been isolating myself and pushing friends away. I’ve been less than honest at times and have allowed negative emotions to ride me down destructive paths. 

Yet when I finally face all the things that hurt and accept the darkness as a part of what makes up the whole, I’m able to see clearer. This year has been a blessing. A year of change and immense growth. Moving away from the family house and discarding their belongings, challenging myself with a new role at work, picking up (and giving up) pole dancing, volunteering for lifeline, falling in love with Kizomba, and finally travelling to South East Asia… Goals were set and completed, I learnt, I grew, I’d like to say for the better. 

I’ve been lucky. There was a time when I was falling. So much that getting out of bed became a problem on weekends. Yet a couple of weeks into that, renovations for the apartment upstairs began. There was drilling, hammering, loud enough to vibrate the walls. It physically pained me and pushed me outdoors, where sunshine and nature saved me by giving me enough motivation to start saving myself. Transition that pushed me back up. 

It hasn’t been the easiest year, yet when I reflect back, I am humbled and amazed by all the people that have given me their time to connect with me. If it weren’t for the people who helped me move, I would be in way over my head and drowned in my family’s things. If it weren’t for the genuine smiles and conversations that happened throughout the year, my soul would have shrivelled.

So I’m grateful for all the people who have made the effort to share moments with me. To you it may have been a simple drink, or meal, or just a conversation in passing; but it may have been powerful enough to charge my faulty battery, carrying me to the next day. 

For all the people who have connected with me deeper, I’m so grateful for the depth you’ve allowed yourself to go with me. I’ll admit I can be a pretty intense person, so thank you for fulfilling that craving to intertwine on an emotional, mental, or spiritual level.

For all the people who have shared a dance or two with me, please know that each dance is truly appreciated. It’s become such an important, uplifting part of my life. Thank you for making that possible!

As for all the mess that I’ve been in…. Well, I’ve come around to recognise it as character building. So all in all, a very valuable year. I just hope this next one doesn’t require as much struggle.

Much love. 

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Best is yet to come

Birthday again. It seems to always creep up on you these days. A time for reflection, self-evaluation, and a time for goal setting.

This past year had been the most amazing year I’ve ever had, for more reasons than I can list. I am so grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given.

To be able to travel, definitely the highlight. I faced my fears and finally travelled solo. Seven amazing weeks in Europe has opened my eyes and inspired a new lust of the wonders in this world. I need to see more. #wanderlust

To have the most understanding, ridiculously awesome friends under the sun, I knew I had been blessed. This year I’ve had the pleasure of truly engaging with remarkable people who I am lucky to call friends, in a deeper, more meaningful way than ever before. We have matured, grown, and become more colourful and interesting people over the years. I am simply honoured to have you in my life. I hope to continue to strengthen the connections we’ve made. #friendsforever

To be able to love and be loved, this was always a challenge in my life, yet it shapes who I am in the most powerful way. Thank you to all the amazing people along the way. I am a little wiser because of the times we shared together, however short or long. I wish you happiness. That much stays true. #loveandbeloved

To have family who are there for me no matter what I do. I love that we’re all online and just a message or free call away (as long as there’s wi-fi). I am truly blessed to have family who support my stubborn ways of life. #bloodties

And lastly, to have a passion for what life has to offer. Whether it’s my job, travel, or hobbies; I am lucky to feel this driven and motivated to experience life to the fullest. I am blessed to have all this energy and health to support my desires. #lifeisbeautiful

Definitely had the best year ever. And things are only gonna get better!! I love you all!!! xoxo

Milestone C

There are moments in time, marked by events, people, and realisations.  Today is one such milestone that marks all three.

Event:  birthday
Person:  Cindy aka my childhood BFF.
Realisation:  birthdays have totally lost their excitement, romance and significance.

It’s now more of an excuse, to get together, to reflect, to eat good food and drink some wine.  But meh.  Who really needs excuses for that?  We do it when we can.  And the next time we get together, it shall be for both of our birthdays, all the ones we’ve missed out on.

Sorry I can’t be there today, I hope someone spoils you with lots of love and attention.  This coming year will be a giant step towards the next stage of your life.  I’m so very happy for you, and I hope it brings you more joy and peace than you can imagine.  Strap the seat-belt in and hold on tight!

Happy birthday.  I’ll see you soon my dear.

My Annual Rambling Event

So it’s my birthday. Again. For the twenty-seventh time.
For me, rather than celebrating, more importantly, birthdays are a time for self-reflection.
Where I am now, how I got here, am I happy with it, where do I want to go from here…
So here’s a quick (?) breakdown of the important aspects of my life, (in no particular order).

People

– Family:
Have been more open recently to mum… yay.
Need to talk to bro more —> uni HAS changed him.
Miss dad. miss my dear cousin Pat. miss all my other relatives in tw too…
>>Working on becoming closer to all of them.

– Friends:
Have been somewhat neglecting most due to uni… I’m so sorry… T___T
So very lucky to have so many great friends!
>>Work on spending more time appreciating them – to be a great friend to them as they have been to me!

– Boys:
Have been up and down, have hurt and been hurt…
Recently very happy to have found a man who I absolutely adore.
>>Working on building a beautiful relationship =)

Career

Saved up enough (?) to quit office job and started full time uni.
Love love Macquarie’s Early Childhood Education… inspirational, empowering, and life-changing (!)
Loved 3 weeks of full time practical at a day care…  Confirming: Yes, I am on the right path.
Have had trouble managing my time…
>>Work on reducing procrastination and become more efficient at study…

Health

On and off effort on taking care of myself… mainly due to poor time management
Diet: ranged from health-food-freak to junk-food-junkie…
Exercise: have enjoyed yoga and gym; but slacked off due to lack of time… Orz
Sleep: have mostly been waking up at regular hours;  but sleeping at the most random times…
>>Work on prioritising health! That is all of the above, diet, exercise, sleep.
(What should be one of the most important aspect of anybody’s life.)

Other Bits and Pieces

– Finances:
Have been living on savings… seeing the line graph in Ubank go down, down and down really sux.
But, an essential process to get where I want to be, I suppose.
Nothing beats knowing the effort and time you spend saving, is taking you further in life, as intended.
>>GET CASUAL CHILDCARE JOBS as soon as I submit my final assignment!

– Dance:
Haven’t been dancing as much, again, due to uni…
Tried Zouk, loved it. Would love to really get into it when I have $$ and time.
Still want to get better at Salsa.
Still want to get into swing… Lindy Hop is still awesome.
Still dream of doing some hip-hop/popping…
>>Be patient… I have the rest of my life to dance.

– Other hobbies:
Tried real gun SHOOTING… loved it! To be able to concentrate and focus so intensely is mind-blowing.
>>Will definitely pick this up… when I have $$ and time.
Tried guitar and failed miserably… so not disciplined enough to practice…
>>I am still keeping this on my to-do list.
Haven’t had the time to do much of anything else… I miss reading what I want to read!

– Travel:
Went back to Taiwan twice this year… LOVE LOVED reunion thanks to Tiv’s wedding!!!
Went to Bintan Island with CIN!!!!! So relaxing, rejuvenating… this set the benchmark for all my future holidays.
That’s the way holidays should be!!!  I miss you cindy lau. Q___Q
I still maintain, sandy and cindy, you should move to sydney so we can live life like a gigantic long holiday.
Went to Barrington Tops, my first road trip where I drove all the way! So proud of myself.
Loved that little girls’ getaway… uni girls are awesome <3
>>Put in more time/effort into planning travels.  I obviously love it with a passion.

– House
Have moved my stuff into the master bedroom… waiting to move the bed still.
Have been neglecting the house… it is so cluttered with things we don’t need.
>>Stop putting things off. Just do it. Clean, throw away, tidy up. ASK FOR HELP.

– Personal development
As per my forever long life goal, reminding myself whenever I can, to become more positive.
Reflection is a large part of being able to improve… I’m glad uni is teaching me more ways of doing so, and my life is providing me with more and more opportunities to challenge my thinking. Loving it. Loving life.
Have recently discovered that I can be quite strongly opinionated…
I think in many ways, I am still yet to learn to express my opinion in a rounded way; in ways that are easy for people to accept.
I can be too harsh, too direct, too insensitive, too biased, too egocentric…
I’m just glad that I am beginning to see when I’m doing so, and am beginning to try to look for alternatives.
>>Keep trying! Keep reflecting! Keep improving! Become a person that can inspire and bring good.

Last but not least: Gratitude

Towards all of the above.  More than ever before, today, on my birthday, I am evermore thankful, for where I am at this moment. I am evermore content with how I’ve grown and matured, how I’m still learning to develop. I love the people I have in my life, I love that I am given the opportunity for everything that I get to try in life. I love who I am, because I recognise the potential to be better, because I know I will never stop trying. I love the world I am in, because of the wonderful people I’ve met and will come to meet. I have goals, dreams, and I am happy, just to know that everyday, I am one step closer.

It’s been a wonderful year with its full course of heartaches and tears of joy… To be sitting here today, feeling so content – I know that the road ahead won’t be easy, won’t be smooth sailing… but it is the challenges that makes us grow… And today, I look forward, to all the unexpected challenges that are yet to come.

Yes, life of a 27-year-old, I am ready for you.