Tag Archive | emotional

embracing the pain

The struggle is, I know I am a person of extremes. With me there’s only ever two modes: it’s either radiant sunshine or catastrophic destruction; it’s absolute discipline or complete indulgence; it’s love or indifference; it’s all or nothing. 

So no, I can’t have mediocrity. I will never settle for less than soul crushing. For I am a phoenix who will rise from burnt ashes. I am a super-saiyan, extreme trauma required for transformation. I am a diamond in formation, the more pressure I endure, the more precious I’ll become.

The universe will only pose challenges you are worthy of facing. So come at me with the anguish and pain. I’ll keep bleeding till I leak only light.


Sleep it off

How do you deal with being emotionally overwhelmed? I know some use alcohol (or other substances), some cry or scream or act out physically. Some like to talk about it with people, some like to ignore the issue and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Me? My natural defence mechanism is to go into hibernation. I sleep things off. Whether I’m angry, sad, panicking, or feeling a sense of doom; whenever it becomes emotionally overwhelming – I sleep, and let my subconscious take over. 

Surprisingly, it works incredibly well. I usually wake up feeling better and more ready to deal with whatever issue at hand. Sometimes I even wake up with solutions or inspirations! It usually is proportional too: the more emotional I get, the longer I need to sleep before I’m ready to take on the world again.

I can’t help but feel that somehow, I’m connecting with a higher frequency when I shut off my conscious mind. My subconscious doesn’t stop dealing with the issue when I’m asleep. Therefore I’m so very grateful, that I’m being looked after; so very thankful for the peace and energy my sleep provides; and so very very lucky that I have good quality sleep.

Part of self-care is to figure out effective stress management strategies that work well. My top three include sleeping, writing, and good sex. Unfortunately the latter comes with too much of its own stress and complications at this point in my life, so I’m sticking with the first two.

Have you figured out what works for you? ;-)

[ Once ]

Tonight, my heart was brutally ripped out of my chest and squeezed until it turned to mush. The simplicity in ‘Once’ offered a direct path from the stage to the soft and squishy parts of me. The powerful music, the bittersweet story, the amazingly talented cast (the very good looking leading man) and the intimate closeness of the stage made me take it all in, deep. The experience felt so raw, so honest.

My emotions were still running high way after leaving the theatre. The boy-meets-girl situation was complicated by “baggage”… Making it real, relatable, and heart-wrenching.

[spoiler alert]

Yet perhaps it is not about the happy endings. The marks that people leave on our trails are sometimes so significant, that long after they are gone, we still bare the imprints they left behind. Sometimes they completely change the course of your life, yet your paths only intersect, once.

As I remember the ones who left their marks on my life, I can’t help but wonder, whether I’ve left marks on others…