To have known what it feels like to be the second best thing; the runner-up to one’s grand prize; to be the one that they’re with because their most wanted is out-of-reach…
It is a sickening feeling to be placed up against an ideal, a fantasy, an immeasurable height of a pedestal… And know that you will never replace what they want the most; what they think they deserve; and what they deemed the ultimate best for them. Despair doesn’t even come close to describing the sense of loss, helplessness and the complete lack of hope that drowned me, once I came to realise the cruel hard truth.
I would never have the heart to do that to someone else. That is why I refuse to “settle“. Unless I think the world of this person, unless I admire, respect, and adore this person with all of my heart and soul… I could never marry someone while thinking I wanted more than what he could give.
Perhaps one day I will realise mum is right, life is not perfect and ultimately I will have to settle (Oh god I hope not); but if that should ever happen, I vow to never ever ever let the other person feel what I’ve felt before. Please. If you think you’re settling, don’t ever use that to hurt the other person. The damage you do will be unrepairable and will always eat at the other person…
The best I’ll ever have.
No grass is greener.
Dreams come true.
That’s how I’ll always love.