Tag Archive | marriage

[Day 23] Never settle

To have known what it feels like to be the second best thing; the runner-up to one’s grand prize; to be the one that they’re with because their most wanted is out-of-reach…

It is a sickening feeling to be placed up against an ideal, a fantasy, an immeasurable height of a pedestal…  And know that you will never replace what they want the most; what they think they deserve; and what they deemed the ultimate best for them.  Despair doesn’t even come close to describing the sense of loss, helplessness and the complete lack of hope that drowned me, once I came to realise the cruel hard truth.

I would never have the heart to do that to someone else.  That is why I refuse to “settle“.  Unless I think the world of this person, unless I admire, respect, and adore this person with all of my heart and soul… I could never marry someone while thinking I wanted more than what he could give.

Perhaps one day I will realise mum is right, life is not perfect and ultimately I will have to settle (Oh god I hope not); but if that should ever happen, I vow to never ever ever let the other person feel what I’ve felt before.  Please.  If you think you’re settling, don’t ever use that to hurt the other person.  The damage you do will be unrepairable and will always eat at the other person…

The best I’ll ever have.

No grass is greener.

Dreams come true.

My love.

You.

That’s how I’ll always love.

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[Day 22] Dear mum

媽,昨天妳打電話來,又問起一樣的問題,我聽到了妳的無耐。我知道妳在台灣常常會被問起那虛歲都三十一的女兒到底有沒有男朋友,什麼時候要結婚。我知道妳也在著急。

但是媽,我真的過得很好。我單身,比隨便找個人嫁會開心許多,為什麼要急著結婚?也許我飄泊不定是很任性,但嫁錯人,難過傷心的可是一輩子的事… 急,不挑,妳真的會放心嗎?如果結了婚,不開心,妳會比現在高興嗎?

我知道我自己需要的是什麼,為什麼不能等到一個適合的人出現?我不是拒人在千里之外,也不會輕率判人出局。我只是不願嫁一個我不尊重、敬佩的人,也不願意和一個自己不愛的人在一起一輩子。我自己知道他會出現,從沒有懷疑過。就縱容我自我的等待那個八字夠重能負荷我的人吧… 別擔心,我知道我們會非常幸福的。就再給我們一些時間吧…