“As soon as I’m in contact with beauty, the second thing that comes, usually, is pain. And I think it’s almost a conditioned response, from having had that beauty crushed.”
In much the same way, when I experience pure joy, a sense of sadness usually follows, from a conditioned response to that joy dissipating.
In the clip above, Eisenstein mentions how he hurts for the biosphere. For me, I feel pain when I see the beauty in humanity. There is so much beauty in every single one of us. For that to be ignored, denied; for people to think/feel/act in destructive ways either towards themselves or others… It brings me a deep sadness.
Yet, Eisenstein’s openness and compassion made me notice how beautiful it is to experience this sadness. It takes great courage, to allow yourself to be that vulnerable, to feel pain, to grief. Somehow I can see it as a blessing to feel this grief. It is because my heart knows we can do better. So let’s.
No music is loud enough to take away the quietness of the end of a holiday.
A sense of loss, a mourning, for the people I will miss, and the memories that carved deep.
This trip has exposed me to an alternate life that could be.
A peek, into the window of a happiness just out of reach.
I’m not so sure about where to go from here or what choices I should make…
One day at a time for now, I guess.